Welcome to Planet AvP.
Three Species. One Planet.

Planet AvP!
AvP2 movie!
AvP movie!
Aliens: Extermination
Predator: Concrete Jungle!
AvP Extinction!

--Planet AvP | Staff

Want to know more about the guys who run Planet AvP? Here's all their (sick, twisted) profiles.

Site Director

David Shipley
: Site Director
E-mail: davidshipley@planetavp.com

Yeah, I run this place. I don't have no job or go to school, so I do Planet AvP to feel less like a loser. It's good money, and I get to act like an ass and no one says anything.

I live in Indonesia (my mom's Indonesian), so when everyone sleeps, I post the news.

Staff Members

Position: Skin Reviewer
E-mail: alain@planetavp.com

Alain clapped his hands together, dust pluming off of them. Looking around, he nods in satisfaction with himself. Although the area is dark, unable to see more than a few feet in front of him, he knows his work is complete. A lead pipe rolls, and bumps against his foot. Looking down, Alain bends down to pick up, musing to himself. Picking it up, Alain looks at it with a single eye brow raised as it slipped from his grasp. He shook his hand in dismay; congealed blood specks flying from it. "Bastard." Alain muttered. Wiping his hand on his coat, Alain walked out of the room, into the light, knowing that the world was safer... if only for a little bit. A light flickers, lighting up the area that he walked from, showing the scene. Lawn gnomes littered the floor, and the wall. The ones on the wall were pinned with sharpened lead pipes, some pipes with two to three gnomes on it.
Turning around, Alain grinned at his work. "How I hate those damned gnomes. Always sitting. Always watching. Never blinking."

Alain, known exclusively to Planet AvP (known game wise as 'dr0n3') has been a member of the forums for a little more than a year. He spends his time playing games, munching on food, and working out. He's also an active member of TWL. He's a graphic designer, using nothing more than his copy of Photoshop CS, and enjoys making banners, logos, and other designs for websites/companies that ask for them.

Man-- writing in third person is a b-tch. So let's cut to the chase, yes? I'm amazing. The end. Should you need to contact me for any reason, feel free to e-mail me, send me a message over the forums, at get at me via xfire at dr0ne57.

Chris Beaver
Position: Art Specialist
E-mail: chrisbeaver@planetavp.com

Chris Beaver remains Planet AvP's designated pencil-monkey, though (officially) in a smaller capacity, now that he's going through his freshman year at the Savannah College of Art & Design. Once in control of a mighty gaming rig, he's now down to a laptop and a Mac lab he's not allowed to download stuff in (and he hates most other aspects of the Macs, too). He's probably lost and confused right now, but will eventually be picked up to art this place. No worries.

Shoot Me I'm Dumb
Position: Literature Specialist
E-mail: shootmeimdumb@planetavp.com


One fine day, I was sitting in front of my computer, happily typing another story about government corruption, aliens and mysterious viruses. Suddenly, the monitor flashed black and red and displayed a message from a mysterious character - Shipley. It seems this shady fellow was having a little trouble holding back an angry mob of literature readers... and needed a little help.
I grabbed my keys and hopped into a World War II-era jeep.
I arrived on the scene to behold a mass of angry literature fanatics trying to climb the fence of the Planet AvP building, screaming something about Mechman and clubbing seals. I leapt out of my jeep and hurried over to where Mr. Shipley and a giant lobster were holding up a portion of the fence.
Shipley turned to me and said, "You've got to stop these people - they'll ruin my new car!"
He pointed at a Geo Metro behind me; I noticed it was double-parked.
I reached down to the base of the fence and flipped the breaker on a small box, which was appropriately named, "Deep Fat Fry." Electricity instantly ripped through the fence and crisped a good portion of the mob. That'll stop 'em!
They kept coming. Suddenly, gun shots were heard outside the fence -- the masses had somehow gotten hold of an APC full of weaponry. As rockets, shells, bullets, and grenades began to hurtle over the fence into the building, the frightened staff panicked.
Mustering up all my courage, I leapt in front of the fence and yelled to the staff: "Get behind me!" The staff, seeing an idiot to use as a bullet-shield, quickly huddled together behind my body, just as the last of the fence collapsed.
Angry literature readers poured into the compound, their weapons aimed at me. Some yelled, "Shoot 'em!" Soon, a few dozen of every type of bullet ever created flew at me. Rockets impacted all over, sending hunks of concrete flying; bullets tore into the sand beneath, kicking up a fine dust which obscured all view of the compound.
When the dust and smoke finally settled... the Planet AvP staff lay dead. Just a few feet in front of them, I lay on my stomach, covering my head with my hands. I looked around, stood up and brushed myself off. I looked back at the staff. "Well, guess I forgot to yell 'duck'."
I shrugged, hopped in my jeep and drove off as the Planet AvP building burst into flames behind me.
The moral of this story: don't ever hide behind an idiot who says he can stop bullets with his body.
Now, on to important stuff. I live in the US, and I like to write literature for AvP2. I like to play any and all FPSs ever created. And I am a regular Forum junkie.

Tyler "3pidemiC" Grohoski
: Staff Writer

E-mail: tylergrohoski@planetavp.com

Tyler "3pidemiC" Grohoski was born in the semi-large Midwestern town of Livonia, Michigan. He weighed about...wait....

I am a lifelong fan of the Alien franchise and I am obsessed with the second film in that series (as everyone should know), Aliens. I am just about nineteen years of age and I have a prestigious high school diploma under my belt which some how qualifies me to write for this wonderful site. I am currently studying Marketing and Advertising at a nameless community college in my home state. I am a very big horror movie fan and I have been collecting memorabilia from my favorite films for quite some time now. I own a very valuable and extensive collection of...well...junk (as some may call it). I am also really into computers, gaming, and the gaming modification scene. Erg, this is getting tedious...time to simplify:

My girlfriend (of close to 5 years) is the love of my life. I rock out to Punk and Ska music. I eat food.

Oh, and I have a tattoo dedicated to Pvt. Hudson (Bill Paxton) on my shoulder.

Was that ok?

Do over?

Joseph "SiL" Guilar
: Staff Writer

E-mail: silworld@planetavp.com

When Dave hired SiL, he probably had no idea how experienced he was at reviewing, uh, "skins".
Yes: "skins".
The reason for the inverted commas is that SiL lives on the great Southeast coast of Queensland, Australia, called the Gold Coast. There, he can review "skins" simply by walking down the flippin' street.
Maybe that's why he has such a good taste in skins?
Anyway, SiL enjoys lazing about, drawing Aliens and writing about Aliens. He aims to one day either: own the Alien Quadrilogy, or make his own Alien fan-film -- which will never happen.
If all else fails, he wants to make animated cartoons and become a director.
Well, there he goes now, happy as can be, ready to review more beautiful skins.
So many beautiful skins...

Pseudo Hero
: Staff Writer

E-mail: pseudohero@planetavp.com

The PAVP staff looked into the kitchen of Bob Labs. “Who is that guy?” A member of the staff asked another. “How is he doing that?” The staff member replied. They looked through the window at the guy with the full sized alien in his lap spoon feeding it cake, a tall guy with long black hair and a thick beard. How did he get in the building and why isn’t he dead yet? Was the collective ponderance of the group as they stared at the guy petting the black space monster his size. “Who’s my pretty buggy buggy?” He cooed to the alien as it made happy squeaking noises of the likes never heard by human ears before.

They walked to Shipley’s office and looked at the sticky note on the door. The door was locked so it was the only answer they has at the moment. It read, “The guy in the room is insane. Don’t ask me why I hired him, I just did. He didn’t ask me I asked him and now he’s staying in Bob Labs with Bob. Wasn’t my idea, I don’t ask, he doesn’t tell, I don’t get nightmares. People call him Pseudo Hero for some strange reason.”

Pseudo Hero writes the stuff versus stuff column, plays the AJL mod, and whatever else he gets asked to do.

: Mod Reviewer

E-mail: izzy@planetavp.com

The story of how Izzy came to be on Planet AvP is a wonderful story...okay maybe not so wonderful, but it is a story. Izzy annoyed the Staff with his Mailbag replies and wrote Literature submissions just because he wanted to write stories. Izzy worked his way up to asking for a Job, and much to his surprise David Shipley said yes. Izzy was given the job as Map Reviewer, and it was good. As time went on, Izzy reviewed maps every week, showing the good people of the site what maps were good, and what maps were so-so. He kept on writing his stories, and life was good. Until Izzy's computer wouldn't let him get Planet AvP mail anymore, it was horrible...with that his computer wouldn't run AvP2! Izzy had to quit Planet AvP because he couldn't do his job anymore. Now Izzy is at college, with a new laptop that runs AvP2. It will also let him check his mail! So Izzy wrote an E-mail to David Shipley asking for a job back, but Map Reviewer was taken...so they moved him to Mod Reviewer. And life was good. He still writes, and is very active in the forums again, and of course...life is good. So what does Izzy have to say for himself?

"Who wrote that profile? I mean it was trash...oh, wait...I did...uh...little chocolate bunnies?"

: Staff Writer

E-mail: jay@planetavp.com

Jay hails from Los Angeles, California and became an Alien fan at the age of 9 -- when the movie was first released. However, efforts by Jay to see the movie in theaters at that time (then in Oklahoma where he lived) were daunted due to his age... yet Jay was not deterred, and he eventually devised a plan to buy the first ever release of Alien on "Magnetic Video" VHS a couple of years later by mowing lawns and doing odd jobs -- even though his family didn't even own a VCR at the time! Yet, all was not lost, for down the street from him was a neighbor who had a VHS VCR -- and Jay was finally able to journey into the Alien's filmic world!

These days Jay has his own home theater setup... "guarded" by an actual life-size Queen Alien (which was refurbished by artists who've worked on the Alien movies' creature SFX), along with a life-size Alien Warrior and life-size Alien Eggs. He is an avid film aficionado, and is currently at work on an independent feature film based upon a psychological horror short film that he created (comeplayhideandseek.com).

Gareth Von Kallenbach
: Movie Specialist

E-mail: gareth@planetavp.com

Gareth is a syndicated film and game reviewer who writes for over 40 publications worldwide. He is the creator of www.sknr.net and the International Association of Film Critics and has his first book of reviews due in 2004. Gareth also speaks at many conventions and aside from his film work; he has been involved in the design, testing and marketing of several computers games and continues to do so today.

James LaFosse
: Art Specialist

E-mail: dark_nautilus@planetavp.com

James sat alone in the grand expanses of the PlanetAvP corporate offices, his inbox engorged with paperwork, leaving the outbox completely emaciated.

His eyes turned outside, looking out into the streets, then at the art sprawled across his desk. A mechanical pencil lay in the embrace of his fingers, awaiting the moment it would be drawn across the paper to produce an expression of an emotion, a concept, or a image of his mind. At his right rested a pile of papers, scripts for Bob and Progg. Comedy and tragedy lay inscribed upon the white sheets.

With a pained sigh, he looked out once again at the world oblivious to what lie in the basements, the great horrors from space and scheming hunters. Avatars of despair and power, all roaring and skittering in the great hive of the office complex. At that moment James realized he was one of the great Aliens in the hives, tunneling through offices for the work of the hive, and the great Queen, David Shipley.

Beaver put down the paper and stared at James for a moment, raising a questioning eyebrow. "You realize you just called Shipley a Queen, right?"

James nodded his head and said, "Well, yes. I mean, all things considering, we are the-"

"No, no, no. Don't give me that 'It is symbolic imagery and a commentary on our current capitalistic culture' crap. You're going to send it anyways though, aren't you?" Beaver inquired, moving a strand of hair from his eyes.

"You think he'll notice?" James smiled. Beaver pondered about it for a moment, putting a thoughtful finger on his chin.

"Naw." He said, smiling as he handed it back. And with that, James sent it in and found himself in confinement for a week a few days later. And all were happy.

The Oracle
: Literature Specialist

E-mail: theoracle@planetavp.com

Sunlight streamed through the windows of David Shipley’s office that Monday Morning. Dave paced the floor and then turned toward Oracle, stabbing a finger in his direction.

“Colonel Oracle, I’m only going to ask you this one more time. Did you order the code red?”

Col. Oracle squinted his eyes and locked them on Shipley.

“You want answers?”

“I think I’m entitled to them!”

“You want answers!”

“I want the truth!”

“You can’t handle the truth!”

Then Oracle continued angrily.

“Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? Lt. SMID? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Board Guests, and you curse the moderators. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That that board guest’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor…code…loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!”

Shipley just stared, “Jesus, Oracle, this is just a job interview. Oh and by the way the Code Red Mountain Dew you ordered is here.”

“Ah, why thank you.”

“And what do you do exactly?”

“I make funny literature stories that involve gratuitous movie parodies. Sometimes when literary death and destruction is not following in my wake, I help my brother SMID with his own literature.”

“And what else do you do?”

“You know that movie with the alien in the jungle?”

“The one where he kills people?”


“Well that’s what else I do, I have homicidal tendencies and I kill people.”

“You’re hired!” Exclaimed Shipley pointing his pen at me.

Then I jumped over the desk and tackled him.

: Map Reviewer

E-mail: redclaw@planetavp.com

I am a 41 year old dude who lives outside of Washington DC with way to much time on my hands! I have pretty much been playing video games for the past 25 years. I know, I know...that makes me pathetic but what can you do? LOL.

I started playing AvP2 and mapping at the beginning of 2005. It has been a total blast and I have made friends all over the world. I recently started moding and skinning as well and that has been a very interesting experience.

Outside of the online gaming world I play a lot of sports. Growing up I used to compete in power lifting, fencing, soccer, and American football. I have always been huge sci-fi fan even from my earliest days.

It’s great to join the Planet AvP staff and be a part of this fun community of insane AvP2 gamers! While my diet might not be beer and fruit loops...that is not too far off...it is just straight alcohol and chocolate chip cookies for me!

Phil "Windebieste" Wlodarczyk
: Map Reviewer

E-mail: windebieste@planetavp.com

The Windebieste is a mostly placid, albeit mischievous creature. However, don't let it's gentle nature deceive you; when riled up, the Windebieste will defend itself. Its bite, much like its literary and artistic abilities, can deliver a potent narcotic which, when injected directly into the brain of its victims, will cause them to experience the most wild and vivid hallucinations. The sensation lasts only for a few minutes, but the experience of having encountered the Windebieste lives long in the memory of those who encounter it.

Caution is advised in the handling of the Windebieste.

This particular specimen has a history of contributing over 15 years worth of unusual illustrations and written material to various Australian science fiction fanzines. It would appear that this specimen was roaming around online, happily, until it took up a cosy residence lurking near the bottom of the Planet AvP building.

Apart from Planet AvP, the Windebieste appears to have no other online activities - but this condition may change without notice.

The Windebieste thrives on a diet of beer and Froot Loops. All in the same glass.

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