Well,
now that Halloween candy-gorging has subsided, there's
no better way to get back in routine than by catching
up on the latest Mailbag. Let's kick this sack off...
Next Week's Topic Will Be:
As the hype builds around the
upcoming Expansion Set--and more details are disclosed
about what will be included--what character class do
you think you'll be seeing yourself as and why when
it's finally released? The Druid, Assassin, etc?
Now onto feedback from last week's
topic in which we asked you to share funny quest
stories!
From: Cruzn15
Subject: Funny Quest
Cain's Wrath
Steal Deckard Cain's cain. He will chase you down, waving
his fist, screaming, "Hey! That's my cain you pillow
biting hooligan!" Once you escape Deckard, hang out
with Wariv for a while, he will give you Roasted Sand
Leapards and let you sleep in his wagon. When Deckard
cain has left for Tristram to swipe Wirt's leg, chase
after him, get to Tristram first. It's sort of a foot
race, but since Cain can barely limp, it's not a very
intense race. If you beat him to Tristram, take Wirt's
leg, now you have to beat Deckard Cain's bad leg with
it. Give Deckard his cain back and say, "Sorry, I thought
you were Diablo." Now walk away confused and laughing
while Deckard Cain waves his cain in the air in your
direction yelling, "Fine, but don't come crying to me
when you have items that you need identified!"
*chuckles*
From: EricJ37a
Subject: Write a funny quest
Not really a quest, just a good
addition.
After beating the game and preparing to go to the Secret
Cow Level, the mighty heroes must fight Wert's zombie
(unique monster) for his leg. Wert should have a large
hoard of skeleton minions to keep the hero party busy
while Wert applies his special attacks against them.
Attack 1: Sales pitch
Wert says (in a slurred zombie voice), "Psshht........over
here." The attack is directed against the entire party.
Any hero who fails to resist the sales pitch immediately
walks up to Wert and buys a Strong Rags of the Lion,
a Buckler of the Ages, and a Fine Saber of radiance
and immediately equips his new treasures. Wert may also
offer at random a Cap of Quality or a Soldier's Dagger
of light which will also be equipped upon purchase.
If more than one hero is affected by the sales pitch,
the involved players will automatically be entered into
a bidding war for the items. Bids start at the purchase
price and go up by 1000 gold until all but one hero
successfully resists the sales pitch. Winner equips
the item and drops whatever he had previously equipped.
Attack 2: Smart-Ass
Wert recalls his old personality and insults the nearest
hero. A successful attack annoys the hero and lowers
his defenses and attack rating. A really good insult
will cause the player to stand still in shock for up
to three seconds.
Attack 3: Kick
Wert, using his skull-gem socketed peg leg, will kick
a hero in the shins or stomp his toes. The hero's boots
are the only protection against this kind of attack.
The skull-gems help Wert reclaim his health faster than
regular monster healing. A new dancing-holding-the-leg
animation will be required for each character class.
Attack 4: Irritation
aura Wert gives his Smart-Assed aura to his minions.
Any attack directed against the protected minion will
be followed by an insult and an annoying urge to go
buy a useless magical item from Wert. This aura will
not cause players to bid for items; Wert has enough
useless junk to go around. After Wert is finally killed,
he drops his peg leg and two skull gems. Wert gives
experience points equal to the average Act IV monster
minus the amount of money spent buying stuff from him.
Ouchie. An intricate one!
From: Phil
Subject: quests/1.04
I know this an old topic but for
patch 1.04 I'd like to see the following:
1) A way for the game to know who killed what in multi-player.
Last night I killed a Gargantuan Beast Champion in NM
mode and he produced a yellow Grim Shield. Is yellow
exceptional? Anyway, some sorc who was doing very little
to help the cause comes in a scoops it up. For all I
know that could have been the Armageddon Grim Shield
with a def of 240! I know I should have my stash empty
of all items I intend to sell for such situations but
work is work and I should have that shield! I always
have to work for items like that because as a Barb I
am always in the thick of things.
2) A way to see the players inventory without having
to trade with him, or wait to trade with him. Maybe
you could move the cursor over a player and you'd see
what he has and the specs. A quest? Well I am no writer
but here are some quests:
a) find the "great Orb of High Resolution Graphics"
b) find the "Gloves of Mouse Ease" that reduce mouse
clicking finger damage by two levels.
c) find the "Great Helm of Twins", this allows you to
produce a twin that does things around the house you
should be doing while playing.
d) "Amulet of the Exorcist" find this puppy and you'll
be able to turn your head 360 degrees and watch football
and play D2 at the same time.
.
Right...
From: @$$@$!|\|
Subject: Quest
4 - Act 4
Diablo isn't really dead. Did you really think he was
dead after your barbarian did the wirlwind-dance before
him? nope:) Smash all the windows in the sanctuary,
repair all the seals you've broken and then put Khalim
toes along with a perfect ruby and some red paint in
the Horadric mixer. Mix it for 2 minutes and watch the
fireworks, as you open your mixer. Khalim's toes have
transmuted into short, bloody ones. Place them on the
ground were Diablo first appeared and try to form a
pentagram. Go stand in the middle and Diablo will once
again appear, much stronger than b4. He'll teleport
to act 1 and kill all the fallen, cos they didn't stop
you when they had the change. Then he'll go to Lut Gholeim
to buy himself a chaingun, he'll go kill the vultures.
Watch this ridiculous bullshit going on for about half
an hour, then try to talk too Diablo and tell him he's
boring you to death. He'll start crying and he will
leave the game. Now you will be know as Bully instead
of Sir...:)
Ok...This is getting weird...
From: Nathan
Subject: What I want to see in vers. 1.04 patch
there seems to be a few things
I wouldnt mind seein in the new patch, but i dont intend
on it happenin anytime soon. One of which is the little
bug, where when a creature is killed, while its dyin
and hit again, it comes back to life and can only be
killed w/ some sort of magic or leap attack from barb,
another... is the zeal w/ the paladin. only thing i
want changed about it is havin some way to stop in the
middle of it. yer in hell convertin and killing a few
thats left and you got a lvl 10 or 11 zeal, and get
hit when your on your 2nd or 3rd stroke, unless u r
a druggie on healin potions and your not a lucky soul,
yer gonna die.
Yeah, well, this week's topic
wasn't too hot--so let's just keep on talking about
the previous one...
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