Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Today we start with the latest Enemy Territory community video release, U96D GZA FRAGMOVIE! There hasn't been much time for the Wolf community to weigh in on this film yet, but as usual, Eggbert carries enough weight for everyone!
Eggbert: Was that a fat joke? I'm not fat you know, I'm just big boned. You must think this movie sucked pretty bad if you're already wasting space with fat jokes.
Sissy: Not at all my big boned buddy, I thought the movie was quite well done. On the plus side...
Eggbert: The PLUS side? Another fat joke! I hate you!
Sissy: So sensitive today. Did you skip breakfast or something?
Eggbert: No, I had a couple of Brownies. Not as filling as Boy Scouts, but they hit the spot.
Sissy: Good to hear it. Now back to the movie. Positives... decent editing and adequate video quality. I especially enjoyed the fast forward special effects, and the frag counter was quite fun and intuitive!
Eggbert: That guy sucked. I would have had twice as many frags. If I wanted to have twice as many frags. Which I don't. But I could!
Sissy: *ROLLS EYES* The frags were above average and you know it. I think the only negative for me was that I found the sound quality to be a bit on the low side. The video was also a tad dark in places. Outside of that, bravo! If you liked this movie then you might also enjoy Sonic Frags.
Eggbert: If you liked this movie then you might also enjoy a full frontal lobotomy.
Sissy: *ROLLS EYES* Admit it, it was a decent film.
Eggbert: I'm not talking to you, you called me fat. DIE!
Sissy: *SIGH* If you stop pouting I'll pick you up a couple of tree huggers for lunch.
Eggbert: Deal.
Sissy: Overall, a decent frag flick. Perhaps a bit average, but worthy of a watch. One boney hand up from me, and a half a hand up from our tubby pal tossing the human salad in the corner over there.
Sissy: Pop the corn and butter your buns, this week's RtCW featured film is PRAANfunction, a movie by souNd that proves that RtCW is alive and well!
Eggbert: You mean you actually watched it past the intro?
Sissy: Ah yes, the intro was certainly a delight, and I definitely watched the film all the way through. Although, I did feel this movie ran a tad long at 12 Minutes.
Eggbert: Yeah, in fact it ran about 12 Minutes TOO long to be precise.
Sissy: Now now Eggy, as usual your people skills get two hands down from this reviewer. PRAANfunction included a great intro, decent FX, graphics quality as smooth as a zombie's bottom, nice editing, some interesting long distance frags and more.
Eggbert: Personally I thought it was pretty much just a standard frag flick with a load of that crappy metal music that kids listen to today. Damn new age hippies.
Sissy: Nothing wrong with a little blood pumping new rock every now and again. I thought the music was adequate and fairly well suited to the action.
Eggbert: HATED IT! You know what the worst thing about eating those metal head hippies is?
Sissy: What's that?
Eggbert: Getting all that damn hair out of your teeth later!
Sissy: True, true. In conclusion though, PRAANfunction ran a little long and is sort of on the standard side, but certainly a recommended download for RtCW fans. Enjoy!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
Like it, love it, hate it? Weigh in with some feedback.
RSS Feeds
