Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: I didn't think we'd be reviewing a trailer again any time soon, but R3 ET Clan Trailer was just too hot to pass up. With some of the best editing and effects seen in community released videos, I can understand the hype here. R3 makes use of Smireboule CameTrace 3D v0.98, a recam tool for Enemy Territory, something movie makers are no doubt anxious to get their hands on right now.
Eggbert: For once I think I might actually agree with you, this is one hot trailer, and I'll tell you up front that it gets two big boners way UP from this reviewer!
Sissy: Wow, Eggbert with something nice to say. The word apocalypse suddenly comes to mind.
Eggbert: *shrug* I just wanted to say "boner".
Sissy: *sigh* No doubt. On top of the quality editing and effects, the music selected was the perfect accompaniment for this video. Of course the trailer is less about the the frags and more about pushing the editing envelope, but you'll still get your frag fix here. I see an Oscar in the R3's future!
Eggbert: Don't get too excited here, the final release of the video could suck maggots. In fact, it probably will. Now that they've got the hype they'll get all cocky and release a bunch of garbage.
Sissy: Ah, now there's the Eggbert I know and hate.
Eggbert: You hate me? How mean. I don't hate you. I love you Sissy.
Sissy: *sniff* I'm sorry, I love you too Eggy.
Eggbert: Ha! Just kidding, I hate you really.
Sissy: *sigh* R3 ET Clan Trailer is a must watch, get it now if you haven't already! At over four minutes in length it's really not your average Wolfenstein video trailer.
Sissy: It's hard following the R3 trailer, since anything is probably going to pale in comparison. From fab to average, eTna's movie is pretty much your standard frag flick with decent quality and frags, but taking some hits in the music department.
Eggbert: Since we don't really have anything to say about this crappy movie, I'd like to take this time to dispell a zombie stereotype!
Sissy: Whoa, hold up there bones. We haven't decided this movie is "crappy" and this is not the place for you to start spouting personal rants.
Eggbert: But...!!
Sissy: No buts! Back to the movie. Gangster's Paradise... I like the song, but I kept expecting Michelle Pfeiffer and a gang of thugs to jump out with Panzers blazing. I didn't feel the music fit the WWII theme at all, but as with many movies, the producer probably just picked our what they were in the mood for at the moment.
Eggbert: More like the producer was on drugs at the time. What a crappy song. Now back to my zombie stereotype!
Sissy: No!
Eggbert: Brains!
Sissy: Huh?
Eggbert: Brains! Zombies don't walk around with their arms stretched out saying "brainssss"! Stupid humans. Sure, we like brains just as much as the next French guy, but the rest is just hogwash. Hollywood, stop portraying us like that in the movies or I'll bitch slap you with your own hands. *FUME*
Sissy: Now now, calm down there porky. You've had your say, now shut it so we can finish up here. Outside of the music issue, eTna's Nostalgia was an okay video, worth a watch if you're hardcore in to videos. The length was good, it wasn't bloated like a lot of the movies we're seeing released these days. The graphics quality was adequate. Frags were adequate. One boney hand UP here!
Eggbert: It didn't stink like total ass. Half a boney hand UP from me.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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