Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: The big movie buzz this week comes from the newly released EuroCup X Movie, a celebration of the 10th RtCW EuroCup, and containing frags from numerous demos. This one weighs in at over 400MB, but if you're a fan of Return to Castle Wolfenstein movies then it's definitely a *must* download.
Eggbert: I can't argue with you there. This is probably one of the best movies I've seen in the past couple of months. As an added bonus, the movie was long enough to finish three large popcorns!
Sissy: At first I was slightly annoyed. Couldn't just give this flick a click and start 'er up. I had to install some sort of viewer first. I wasn't keen on that, so fortunately the movie's content made up for it. From beginning to end you could tell that the video's authors were skilled in the art of production. The graphics were excellent, likely the best I've seen in any gaming movie to date. Very crisp, and they did away with most of the annoying game text, thus making the film clean enough to eat off!
Eggbert: I ate off it.
Sissy: I'm sure you did. The effects were nice and the producers made good use of camera views and split screens to set the scenes. All in all, an awesome frag video with amazing picture quality and plenty of action!
Eggbert: Crazy European fraggers.
Sissy: You're a crazy European.
Eggbert: Yeah, but I'm not a fragger. Have you ever seen a zombie with a gun? Usually out-stretched arms and a few well-placed words about munching some brain is enough to make a human cack their pants. But now that I think about it, why don't we ever use guns? How come the humans get all the cool toys while we just get to wander around mumbling and stumbling?
Sissy: Hmm, you're very deep today, aren't you? Perhaps you should have a sit down with id Software to discuss a proper zombie arsenal for RtCW 2.
Eggbert: Hmm, perhaps I should. If they don't agree with my ideas then they'll make a great light snack. Video game programmers are always scrawny.
Sissy: ...Except for the fat ones. Moving on (again)... If you haven't downloaded this movie yet then butter those buns and slide in to action, EuroCup X RtCW Movie is not one you'll want to miss this week!
Sissy: We ended up with two RtCW movies this week! Eggbert here is a big Britney Spears fan and he couldn't resist this delightful mix of humour and action! But be forewarned, it's probably not for everyone.
Eggbert: Of course it's for everyone! Britney is tasty like a summer's day!
Sissy: You do know that wasn't the REAL Britney Spears, right?
Eggbert: Dead ringer if you ask me. I'd serve her up with a side order of Christina!
Sissy: Uhm, right. Okay then. The movie starts with a rip from some (assumed) British comedy. Not everyone will like the inclusion of a ripped intro, but it works for this one, given the player and producer's name and all. If you can get past the intro then you should at least enjoy the music and the frags. The flick also includes a Britney Kill Counter, which I know tickled Egghead to no end.
Eggbert: HAHA! Yeah, that was cool like Beavis.
Sissy: My god, Beavis is so not cool. Do you have a fever today? You're not complaining and you've barely touched that side of beef you ordered for lunch.
Eggbert: I feel fine dude, chill out.
Sissy: Hrm, I suspect that Diet Coke of yours is not purely Coke. But let's move on. What more can I say really? The movie was okay. It was funny depending on your sense of humour, and I found it quite entertaining. Graphics, sountrack and effects were all relatively average, but the comedic spin ups the ante.
Eggbert: Run away with me Britney! Let me be your sugar daddy, your sweet papa love, the milk in your cornflakes, the frank in your beans!
Sissy: Oh my. I must apologize for Eggbert. I'm really not sure what's gotten in to him. This movie obviously does strange things to a zombie in love. Buyer beware! That said, I'll still toss it one boney hand up.
Eggbert: I loved this movie, I love you Britney! One and a half boners coming your way!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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