Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: I suppose today will be dubbed "Trailer Thursday". Two reasons that we are featuring trailers in today's edition of S&E. First, nothing really tickled my fancy this week in the full video department.
Eggbert: I tickled my fancy before we came to the studio today.
Sissy: Ugh, too much info! Secondly, I think it's always a nice treat to feature quality trailers once in a while for all of the people out there who enjoy movies but detest the massive downloads. So first up today we have Kaizen Movie Trailer. I think "trailer" is a very loose term here though, as the video is 3:18 in length and I think this "trailer" could pretty much stand alone as a full movie.
Eggbert: Yup, it was quite long, just like my fancy!
Sissy: Enough about your "fancy" please. Here's what I liked about Kaizen Trailer... pretty much everything! The graphics were decent, the effects were plentiful and the music was good. The video also provides a healthy peek at what sort of action we can expect from the full video.
Eggbert: I actually watched this one.
Sissy: *falls off chair*
Eggbert: What? I watch them. In between snacks, but I still watch them! If I didn't then how could I know that the video has guns and chicks with big boobies?
Sissy: *sigh* There were no boobies in this movie.
Eggbert: Well there should have been. This dude is losing points for that!
Sissy: While the video may not display any genitalia, it did have a few interesting features. I enjoyed the first half of the video, in which the director displayed combat cut-scenes in between footage of a continuous panzer shot. I also enjoyed the ending. The overhead action shot reminded me of a Real Time Strategy game, looked kind of sweet. Overall, if you're looking for a decent sized download to sink your panzer in to, then give Kaizen a shot. Since it's just a trailer, 1.5 boney hands up from this cat.
Eggbert: I'll give it a half a bone due to the lack of boobies.
Sissy: Our second trailer today is a real shorty. Not much action, just a very brief sneak peek at what's to come. The one thing this trailer did have that made it stand above others released over the last two weeks was the great graphics. Very sharp, clean and screaming of overall quality.
Eggbert: Yeah, it was okay. But again, no boobies. Haven't these up and coming video producers learned anything? Sex sells!
Sissy: Wolfenstein is not a sex game, Egghead. When people download a video they want to see frags and stunts and flashy effects accompanied by a great tune.
Eggbert: Whatever. I think they're gay. ALL gay. The entire Wolfenstein community is gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Sissy: *sigh* Time to derail the Egg, let's get back to A Violent Day 2... Like I said previously, the graphics were indeed tasty, however, I wasn't keen on the music. Hopefully sNoOp will re-think his choices for the final release. Speaking of the final release, it's expected this summer, so keep an eye out, I know I will be!
Eggbert: Keep an eye out for me too, I've got better things to do, unlike you.
Sissy: I know all about your "better things". I've seen what you keep under your mattress!
Eggbert: Uhm, back to the video...
Sissy: Nope, we're done here. A boner up for A Violent Day 2, short but sweet!
Eggbert: Err ok. Mmm, pie.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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