Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: This week we have a special treat for trickjump fans. Both of the movies we'll be presenting are stunt videos. If you don't like trickjumping then feel free to take a nap, I know we did. Yes, it's true, apparently we're not overly keen on the stunt flicks because neither of these movies were floating any boats. In fact, they sort of sunk our battleships! Alright then, let's start off with Invasion, the new Enemy Territory video by B.Woods.
Eggbert: Please no! The horror! Don't make me relive it!
Sissy: Buck up Egghead, show the good readers that you're a trooper, you can do this. Here, have a lollipop.
Eggbert: Mmm, lollipop.
Sissy: Right about now you're probably under the impression that we absolutely hated this film. I wouldn't say that's the case, but we did take major issue with one aspect of it. Invasion exploded in to a barrage of heavy metal music, which in and of itself would have been okay for many. It's no secret that Eggbert and I are not heavy metal fans, however, we can usually still enjoy the movie behind it. In this case though, the words of the song were being printed on the bottom of the screen. I found this HUGELY distracting, to the point that I found myself reading the words and missing the stunts.
Eggbert: Personally I would have rather been sitting with a big bowl of popcorn watching reruns of Cop Rock.
Sissy: Wow, that's a pretty bold statement. While we've focussed primarily on the negative, the grapics were decent. As for the jumps... who the heck knows? I was too busy reading the music lyrics.
Eggbert: Bottom line it for us Sissy...
Sissy: Bottom line: If you love trickjumping AND heavy metal music, then this movie is for you, but unfortunately it wasn't for me. Further feedback on this video can be found at own-age.com.
Eggbert: Bottom line: Needs more gratuitous sex scenes.
Sissy: As mentioned earlier, both of our reviews are of the trickjumping variety today, so stunt fans rejoice! Our second video today is Outrageous 2 from Mr.MuSkullo. Where to start?
Eggbert: The intro would probably be a good place. And you call ME stupid.
Sissy: It was more of a figure of speech you knuckle head. Let's try this again. Outrageous 2 is a trickjumping movie covering a number of levels such as Oasis, Supply Depot, Caen, Fuel Dump, Railgun, Radar and Goldrush. I've never been a good judge of stunts, but I can tell you that the contents of the movie are not for the fat dexterity challenged, like Eggbert.
Eggbert: Hey! What the hell? It's almost as if I'm not even here!
Sissy: The way your face is buried in that Twinkie, I didn't think you WERE here!
Eggbert: Okay, you've got a point there. Carry on.
Sissy: The Intro was a bit crude, but different. The first music track I thought was quite well suited to the film, the second track sort of took a dive. The make or break of this film for me was the graphics. They were very low quality. I would have to say that if you're a jump fan and want to use the video as a learning tool, then fine. But it was certainly no masterpiece, and it lost my attention about half-way through. Had the graphics been better, the music been more to my liking, and perhaps a snazzy effect here and there, then I think we would have had a winner on our hands.
Eggbert: See some of the spots he hid in though? That would be great on a newbie server. You could hide forever. In fact, I think I'll go do that.
Sissy: Err yeah, you go do that. Bottom line... the low quality graphics really wrote this movie's ticket. I'd say viewing is probably limited to diehard jumpers.
Eggbert: Ah, might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump.
Go ahead an' jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump.
Hey! That would make a great song for a trickjumping video.
Sissy: You could be on to something there... if anyone even remembers Van Halen. Anyway, it has to be better than some of the music we heard in today's films. Overall a disappointing day at the movies. Until next time, this is Sissy and Eggbert saying go ahead and jump!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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