Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Today we kick things off with a movie that's been getting quite a bit of attention since its release. Winghaven is the name, ET is the game!
Eggbert: I'm sure glad you pick the movies, I'd hate to be the one going through the massive crap pile of videos that rack up over the course of two weeks.
Sissy: Thanks for reminding me that I really need to make you start doing more work around here. Now let's talk Winghaven. The intro was quite nice, it gave a vibe right from the word go that it was going to be an epic Enemy Territory film. Music, effects, all befitting of a movie that people would be talking about for a while.
Eggbert: I think I'll talk about it at my over-eaters anonymous meeting tonight.
Sissy: Since when did you start going to over-eaters anonymous?
Eggbert: This is my first meeting, I figure there'll be a lot of chunky pork chops there to sink my teeth in to. They won't have to worry about over eating anymore after tonight!
Sissy: Ahhh, sneaky. So does the movie live up to its intro? The graphics are decent, effects are plentiful, there's map diversity, and lots of panzerfaust action if you like your flicks heavy on the gib side. The soundtrack wasn't really to my liking, but that's quite typical. Afterall, I'm almost 150 years old, still a spring chicken in the zombie realm, but not exactly a hipster when it comes to today's popular music.
Eggbert: You can say that again! You're an old fuddy-dud.
Sissy: Okay, Eminem.
Eggbert: That's right, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady!
Sissy: HAHA! Slim... right. Shady perhaps, but certainly not slim. The closest you'll ever get to being Eminem is if you eat him for lunch.
Eggbert: Sour grapes. You're just mad because I'm cooler than you.
Sissy: Okay, enough bs'ing, back to the movie at hand. So to answer the question I asked earlier, does Winghaven live up to its intro? Yes and no. I really enjoyed the video for the most part, but I think it would have been better with a different soundtrack and a cleaner screen, I've never been a big fan of in-game text in movies. But the effects were great and everyone loves a good panzer kill. The end was also very nicely done and includes a little shoutcasting coverage. Overall, 1.5 boney hands up from me, almost a perfect score for a very nicely done movie!
Eggbert: I agree with your assessment, I'll give it 1.5 bones up too. I'm cool like that. I'm Slim like that. I'm Shady like that!
Sissy: A very clean intro kicks off Sikota The Movie. Crisp graphics and great scenery makes you think you're about to watch an episode of Paradise Island. Then the action begins... The heavy metal kicks in and the director switches to some sort of partial letterbox video style.
Eggbert: The graphics were mediocre, pretty typical quality really. It's a shame that video producers can't give us motion picture quality, but of course the downloads would be even more massive than they already are.
Sissy: Wow, did you just say something that could almost be confused for review material?
Eggbert: No.
Sissy: Okay. Most of the video is done from a first person perspective, but a few overhead scenes were included, and those were actually my favourite parts of the movie. At one point the music fades and in-game sound can be heard, I found that to be a rather sloppy move. It wasn't a seamless transition, it just sort of came out of no where.
Eggbert: Yeah, that was pretty weak.
Sissy: Overall I'm going to have to say this is one is probably best left to the diehard ET movie fans. The effects were okay, the graphics quality was decent, the soundtrack with in-game sound fading in and out was below par, and the action started to get a little boring to me after the first couple of minutes. I really wanted to like it more than I did. Half a bone up.
Eggbert: I think this is probably a first with identical ratings for both movies, but I'm with Sissy on this one too. P.S. I'm the real Slim Shady!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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