Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Well hello, and welcome to another edition of Sissy & Eggbert Go The Movies! The pickings were slim this time around, but our first video of the day is nothing but pure quality in every sense of the word! ET Lesson 1 is so small that even the most bandwidthed challenged should have absolutely no problem downloading it.
Eggbert: You mean like, even if they have no hands and no arms?
Sissy: I suppose they could use their toes.
Eggbert: What if they have no feet and no legs?
Sissy: Tongue press?
Eggbert: What if they have no tongue?
Sissy: Err... naughty bits?
Eggbert: What if they are just a tongueless head sitting at a monitor?
Sissy: Oh for god sake, shut up already! Ignore Eggbert, head over to sweRTCW right this moment and get downloading ET Lesson 1, you certainly will not regret it. Short and oh so sweet. In fact, it's so short that I really hate to say anything that may ruin it for you. Let's just say the movie features one rather unlucky and surprised spawn camper. Now hop to it soldiers!
Sissy: Ah yes, another shorty. This is a good week for 56k video fans indeed. It's hard to follow up ET Lesson 1, since the two videos are completely different and not cut of the same cloth. But if you dig trailers then Dodgeh is worth a watch.
Eggbert: What if you're blind?
Sissy: Okay, now you're just being a total jerk. I command you to shut up for the rest of this week's column.
Eggbert: Wow, you're totally no fun. Suits me fine, I'll go see if Helga has any leftover schnitzel.
Sissy: HAHA! Helga with leftovers? Right.
Eggbert: You have a point there, maybe you haven't lost your sense of humour afterall.
Sissy: Alrighty then, now that the Egghead has left the building, let us get down to quick business. Music: A+, what can I say, I just enjoy the whole epic fan faire thing. Graphics: B+. Action: A. The flashing effect, while it suited the video, almost gave me a seisure, but outside of that I'll certainly be downloading the full movie when it's available!
Eggbert: Haha I didn't really leave. I tricked you, didn't I?
Sissy: Uhm yeah, like I couldn't smell you behind the couch.
Eggbert: You're a jerk this week, I'm leaving for real this time. But first, decent trailer, toss it a boner from me.
Sissy: I think I'll have to agree with the Egg, one boney up on this one. I enjoyed it, but it's a trailer, let's see what he has for us in the future. Until next time, this is Sissy & Eggbert over and out!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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