Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: This week's movie is "My First RtCW Clan Movie" by Thoro. The Wolfenstein scene's rogue movie critics can be a little harsh at times, I assume this is why he felt the need to specify the clan game as a first right in the title. Personally, I don't think he has a whole lot to worry about.
Eggbert: Except maybe the fact that he spent all that time making a movie when he could have been out getting laid.
Sissy: Have you never heard of multitasking? Maybe he was getting laid WHILE making the movie.
Eggbert: WHOA there, too much mental imagery happening, make it go away, make it go away!
Sissy: Alright then, that should shut him up for a bit. Right off the bat this film has a few things going for it... first, it's Return to Castle Wolfenstein. Most people are chooing Enemy Territory for their videos these days, so it's always a nice treat to come across some RtCW. Second, the graphics were quite nice. Second, the choice of music wasn't too horrible. Third, the screen wasn't overly cluttered with text, which is always a pet peeve of mine.
Eggbert: Speaking of text, points off for the "Where the "F" is the truck" thing. All that did was dumb down the movie.
Sissy: Agreed, I could have done without that as well. There were also a few other scenes that were a bit iffy, such as the fast forward blur effect and one scene where the action was dead for too long. But overall, I'll give it a boner up. It's a bit short, but that's always nice for 56k videophiles.
Eggbert: Yeah, I'm not too sure about your choice this week Sissy, but I know the pickings were slim. I suppose I'll give it a bone up since it's RtCW flavoured and there IS a small chance he was getting it on during the editing.
Sissy: I thought you didn't want to picture him getting it on?
Eggbert: Well I don't, but you embedded it in my brain. Jerk.
Sissy: Well there we have it folks... get a little action on the side while filming and you just might get a boner or two! Until next time... this is Sissy and Eggbert saying go to the movies!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
Like it, love it, hate it? Weigh in with some feedback.
RSS Feeds
