Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Hello movie fans! Wow, it's actually been a month since we've done the column. Mostly due to all of the awards shows we've been attending, but also due to the lack of Wolfenstein videos produced over the past few weeks. Perhaps we should have done a best dressed list or something, right Eggbert?
Eggbert: Is that your way of saying I've been slacking again?
Sissy: Pretty much.
Eggbert: It's not my fault all humans look the same. How do you expect me to do a best dressed list? Anyway, it's about time that moo-mama Helga von Buttload covered for US for a change!
Sissy: Ohhh, now you've done it. I think we'd better switch topics now before we feel the wrath in our boney behinds.
Eggbert: *looks around* Haha! I'm not afraid of Helga. *looks around some more*
Sissy: Uh right. So first up today is a short Enemy Territory video trailer called "Out of your control". I have mixed feelings about this one. It's a first movie for this guy, so with that said I think it was a pretty decent effort. I did enjoy the intro to the trailer, it looked rather professional and the way he zoomed top down in to the game, that was something quite nice that I've not seen before.
Eggbert: And of course, little people make you giggle.
Sissy: Err, quite true. They're so cute, like little appetizers at a formal dinner.
Eggbert: Ohhh now you're talking! Little people weiner tots!
Sissy: Indeed. The trailer was quite short, but I thought it was fairly well done overall. Graphics were decent, music reminded me of Batman (which is an alright thing), and I'd be interested to see how the full movie turns out.
Eggbert: I'd give the full flick a whirl. But as far as the trailer goes, something was missing. Could've been the whiskey, might've been the gin. Could've been the three or four six-packs, I don't know, but look at the mess I'm in. My head is like a football, I think I'm going to die. Tell me, me oh, me oh my, wasn't that a party?
Sissy: If that's your way of saying you're not sure about this one then I suppose I echo your sentiment. One boner up here.
Eggbert: Ohhhh that sounds good. One stiffy here as well! Duel ya?
Sissy: Team Modus Operandi return after a long hiatus to play in Season 2 of the AusTourney 3v3 competition, which they won in an undefeated run. Now we catch the action on film courtesy of Truc1dio. Between the music and the action, I thought this film was some fast-paced fun. Effects were nice, but I think it was the beats that kept the film from getting boring, as it just seemed to wiz right by.
Eggbert: Speaking of wiz...
Sissy: Uhm no, we aren't speaking of that sort of wiz. You politely excuse yourself and I'll finish up here. How you ever got this gig I have no idea!
Eggbert: Damn, you talk so much I've already gone and returned. So yeah, what's the deal with this movie then? Aussies playing Enemy Territory? Shouldn't they be riding kangeroos, playing with their didgeridoos and hunting baby eating dingos?
Sissy: You're such a stereotyping ass. I'm sure they have plenty of time to play with their didgeridoos in between games of Wolfenstein! The flick seemed to take a bit of flack in the ESR forum, but I suppose it was to be expected since Wolfenstein isn't very popular over there. Personally, I thought the movie was rather excellent.
Eggbert: Okay Bill and Ted! No, but really, Team Modus Operandi, pretty quality film. It sort of seemed like there was no point to it, but hey, it looked pretty. Go download it or I'll send Helga over to nibble on your sausages.
Sissy: Ouch, better do as he says. I liked it, but as Eggbert said, there was something missing. Just can't put my finger on it. Oh well, let's wrap this up then. 1.5 Boners from this graveyard bandit!
Eggbert: Mmmm brainssssss. I liked it but something rubbed me the wrong way.
Sissy: I thought there was no wrong way to rub you?
Eggbert: Touche. 1.5 Boners here as well.
Sissy: Aren't you just the copycat today?
Eggbert: Mmmm cattttt.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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