Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Well they say that cheaters never prosper, but in this case "they" may just be wrong! Here's a look at some folks fragging 'em like there's no tomorrow!
Eggbert: If I met up with a cheater in a dark alley there would be no tomorrow. I've eaten my share of cheaters, they're a little tough but go nice with a creamy garlic sauce!
Sissy: There's really not much to say about this video. Cheating or not cheating? You be the judge! No special effects, just some guy(s) cheating, seeing through walls and fragging his ass in to a hole. But I found the video entertaining none the less, and there hasn't been a whole lot of action in the movie department this week. So there you have it! Cheating caught on film. Not much more to say. Don't cheat you idiots!
Eggbert: Yeah, I'm all out of creamy garlic sauce.
Sissy: Rating is a bit tough here since this was just a novelty video... I'll give it a bone up.
Sissy: Ahhh now that's what I'm talking about, a real frag flick! Nice graphics, up-beat music, lots of big nasty explosions and gibbage galore! Everything you'd want to see in a great action video.
Eggbert: Except the naked chicks, there are no naked chicks!
Sissy: You say that in every edition of the column, get over it already. This is Wolfenstein, not Debbie Does Enemy Territory!
Eggbert: Fine, be that way. But I'm not watching anymore movies unless there's boobies.
Sissy: You will watch and you will like it or else I'll have Helga cut off your pork rind supply.
Eggbert: Ohhh, now you're just playing dirty. FINE THEN. I'll watch it. Nice graphics, up-beat music, lots of big nasty explosions and gibbage galore! Everything you'd want to see in a great action video.
Sissy: Ahhh man, you're just sad. All you did was copy what I said.
Eggbert: Ha! Live with it. Now pass the pork rinds.
Sissy: Alright enough of this gibberish. Nice effects, EuroCup nostalgia is always a welcome thing, Enemy Territory action in epic proportions, what's not to love? This is easily the best movie I've seen in some time. Great work, two boners up here!
Eggbert: Dig that funky music white boy! I'm doing the chicken dance!
Sissy: So I see. *GAG* I take it that's a sign that you're enjoying the movie?
Eggbert: Yeah okay fine, it's good. Now get me my PORK RINDS!
Sissy: Later, they'll spoil your dinner.
Eggbert: BAH you suck. But fortunately this movie doesn't. 1.5 Bones up here.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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