Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: I wasn't particular impressed with this week's pickings. Not many videos have been released in the past two weeks, but most of what I saw was pretty much sucktastic.
Eggbert: HATED IT!
Sissy: Hated what?
Eggbert: IT! Down with the man and his crappy Wolfenstein videos.
Sissy: Go back to sleep.
Eggbert: Alright.
Sissy: Up first today is a nine minute video from uBOot. Pretty much a self-glorified frag film, with decent graphics, modest effects and crap music. If you're a movie-holic then go for it. Outside of that, was it worth its weigh in download?
Eggbert: No, down with the man!
Sissy: Hush it. I'd say it's worth its weight if you're right in to Wolfenstein videos, otherwise I'd probably give this one a miss. Frankly, it's just too long and there was nothing special enough about it to put it even near the top of the charts.
Eggbert: Nice way of saying IT SUCKED!
Sissy: Not completely, it was a fairly well done flick, just a bit lacking in actual exciting content. This is one movie that could probably use a wack of effects to spice things up. A bit of a snoozer, but go for it if you've got the itch!
Eggbert: I have an itch.
Sissy: Probably fleas.
Eggbert: Mmm, lunch.
Sissy: You're sick. Anyhoo, lets sum things up here by saying one boner up from this boney Wolfenstein movie reviewer!
Eggbert: Bah, you're too kind. I'll give it 1/2 a bone. I wasn't thrilled, I didn't even feel like watching the whole thing. Fortunately our next video today is much shorter so I can get on with that whole brain eating thing that we Zombies are supposed to do.
Sissy: Saving the best for last, we bring you a little trailer action. Light weight for you lazy downloaders, decent graphics, music is passable, effects are alright and the video includes shoutcast commentary which is sometimes a treat for competitive movie fans.
Eggbert: The best part about the trailer is that you only have to watch it for a minute, then it's done and you never have to think about it again!
Sissy: Well that's a little harsh, don't you think? Not a bad trailer really. My only beef is all of the text on the screen. I prefer my videos clean.
Eggbert: Is that a French accent I detect in the shoutcast? Mmm, the French taste like toast.
Sissy: Not sure really, the accent was pretty light... I'd probably go with German or something.
Eggbert: Mmm, the Germans taste like schnitzel.
Sissy: Hmm, they do a little, don't they? Alright, back on topic here... since this is just a trailer I'll give it one bone up, but hopefully we've got something to look forward to with the full release.
Eggbert: Yeah, I'll uhhh, look forward to it. *ROLLS EYES* One boner up here too.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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