Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Hello videophiles! I'm very excited today as we have the pleasure of bringing you another Wolfenstein themed machinima movie!
Eggbert: Please don't get excited near me. It's disturbing.
Sissy: I don't mean THAT kind of excited... well, maybe a little bit. :o
Eggbert: Ewwww, I'm blind, I'm deaf!
Sissy: Don't forget dumb. Now lets get back on track here because this week's movie is an amazing piece of work called "Red Green Blue" by the very talented team of magarine & abraxas.
Eggbert: Alright, I'll stop giving you a "hard" time, because this may be the only time that I agree with you completely. Red Green Blue IS an amazing piece of work, and I'm not ashamed to say that it gave me videogasms!
Sissy: Ugh. You were doing so well there until that final bit of eye gauging mental imagery.
Eggbert: I have a wet spot.
Sissy: I guess I sort of do too.
Eggbert: So we're both disgusting?
Sissy: Agreed. All you Wolfenstein fans out there, if you haven't watched Red Green Blue yet then don't delay. There's not a whole lot of Enemy Territory Machinima out there to begin with, let alone well-done machinima. So get your download started and give it a watch. You won't be disappointed, it's a great bit of slapstick and guaranteed to put a grin on your face!
Eggbert: Yes, I laughed, I cried, I nearly died. Oh wait, I'm zombie. I'm already dead. I forget sometimes. But hey, check out all those BJs in the movie. Sexy. Two boners WAY up from me. That is all.
Sissy: Ugh. Yes, that's a whole lotta BJ indeed. Watch it to find out what the heck we're on about. Two big, fat, juicy bones all the way up here as well! Red Green Blue is probably the best Wolfenstein movie we've had the pleasure to lay eyes on, or at least tied with Santa Is Packing Heat. Congrats to Margarine and Abraxas on their fine feat. Also read The Making of RGB if you're interested in programs and maps used to create the video.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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