Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
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Sissy & Eggbert Review:
Sissy: Welcome back movie go'ers! Sissy & Eggy at the mic, don't cause no fight!
Eggbert: Oh no, are you going through another one of your Vanilla Ice phases again?
Sissy: Actually I was thinking more like Eminem.
Eggbert: Trust me, it's 100% Vanilla. /Sigh. Way to start the day. Jerk.
Sissy: Hey now (you're an all-star)...
Eggbert: Enough with the music, we're here to do a job!
Sissy: Whoa, spooky roll reversal thing happening here. You're right, lets get back on track! With sweRTCW.com still down, the movie pickings have been a bit slim. Sadly I did not notice that the splash page for the site is featuring a single video, therefore I didn't have a chance to download it in time for today's column. However, if you want to check out "Shewie's" latest film called "A Belgian Day", you can do so here.
Eggbert: Alright Bucky, thanks for that update, now how about the movie that we actually did pick to review today?
Sissy: Of course, back to business here then! Not a huge amount to say on this one. The intro was decent, it was clean and simple. The main effect used in the movie was this blurry slo-motion type deal. The soundtrack was adequate and the frags were alright. Standard frag flick. The highlight for me was a nice rocket shot. The lowlight was the main effect used, which caused the graphics to look grainy and unclear.
Eggbert: At least they didn't have head banging tunes running, that would have totally blown your Vanilla Ice mood.
Sissy: EMINEM! But you're right. I'd rather hear an average music-only soundtrack rather than metal. So to sum things up, let's go with some scores.
Eggbert: Yes, you do that, I've got some pancakes on the griddle.
Eggbert: Sounds pretty average, but you'll still recommend it anyway, won't you?
Sissy: Sure. If you're down with OPP, err, I mean if you're in to videos then you probably like to check most out, win or lose. This one doesn't win and it doesn't lose, it's just there.
Eggbert: You're mean today.
Sissy: Shutup and get me some pancakes.
Eggbert: Yes sir. Until next time...
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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