Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Thanks for joining us for another edition of Sissy & Eggbert go to the movies, where we will take a look at a recently released ET flick called Zaigon!
Eggbert: Psst. You don't have to thank them. If they're reading this then they've already joined us, therefore we can do whatever the heck we want with them now. We can dance around in our underwear and jump on couches like Tom Cruise if we want!
Sissy: I suppose. But we're not going to.
Eggbert: At the very least we can eat their brains.
Sissy: I suppose. But lets at least wait until the end of the column to do that.
Eggbert: Fine, although I'm hankering for a little grey matter right now. But I guess I can wait if you can handle listening to the tummy rumbles.
Sissy: You call that a tummy? More like a bottomless pit you porkchop.
Eggbert: FINE, get on with your stupid movie review so I can eat brain.
Sissy: Yes, let's do that. Zaigon is the latest video from Ultraviolet. Back in July 2006, hannes started searching for frags for an Enemy Territory Community Fragmovie, with open demo submissions. When releasing Zaigon earlier this month, Ultraviolet Productions hoped to set the benchmark for community movies in ET for the future. Did they succeed with Zaigon? The Crossfire Community seemed to think it was pretty darn good.
Eggbert: Kick us off, brutha.
Sissy: The intro was simple, elegant, black and white, and brief. Very nice job there.
Eggbert: I hate it when you use words like "elegant", it makes you sound like a poof.
Sissy: The soundtrack throughout was well done, music that would appeal to anyone, young or old. No blasting metal, no loud obnoxious lyrics, just very tasteful. The shoutcasting fit in well too, it was mixed well with the music. Some people make a real mess out of introducing shoutcasting in to the video. A lot can be said of the graphics as well. I've found that I get the best viewing of MP4s from Nero. Watching Zaigon was a treat, with sharp and colourful graphics even at full screen. They had a few unique effects in the movie, but the best thing about the effects is that they weren't overused. Again, the word "tasteful" comes to mind. I especially enjoyed all of the 3rd person views.
Eggbert: Tasteful will come to mind when you're done here and I can eat the reader's brains. Let your inner-zombie out, I know you all want brain!
Sissy: Zaigon was over 13 minutes in length, so for that amount of time the frags better be pretty good, right? Well they were. They kept me interested throughougt the film. The ending was also quite nice, serving us up a mess of gibs to top things off, and the credits were simple yet not boring.
Eggbert: Brains now?
Sissy: Not quite. Overall, I would have to say that Zaigon is the best Enemy Territory video that I've had the pleasure of watching in some time now. I would not go as far as to say that they have set the bar for all future movies, but it was very nicely done and it would be great to see movie-makers strive to do as well.
Eggbert: Yes, I agree. Brains?
Sissy: Not yet.
Eggbert: Crap.
Sissy: Here are a few individual scores to put this baby to bed.
If you haven't already picked up Zaigon, then you should do so right away. This is Sissy & Eggbert saying over and out, see you next time at the movies!
Eggbert: w00t, brains!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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