Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Welcome to another edition of Sissy & Eggbert Go To The Movies, where the Egg and I take a look at a recent video release from the Wolfenstein community. Today we grab a gander at "Team Saphire Trailer". Weighing in at 100MB and running 3 minutes in length, it really seems more of a full-featured frag highlight film than a trailer.
Eggbert: Whatever happened to the 20MB trailers that lasted less than a minute? I liked those, they were less work!
Sissy: Your laziness aside, I often wonder the same thing. I guess productions are getting bigger all the time, but are they getting better? Not usually. Will this be the case with Team Saphire's movie? I suppose we will have to wait to see! In the meantime, we'll take a look at their trailer and see how it leaves us feeling for their big production number.
Eggbert: If we have to.
Sissy: Yes we do. Your slacking is getting worse. I think it might be time for me to pull a Roeper on you. You know, replace you with someone a little younger and more handsome.
Eggbert: I swear, you're the only gay zombie I know.
Sissy: I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), I just have good fashion sense. Now back to the movie! As mentioned, the video runs 3 minutes in length, so it really gives off the feel of a full film. I found the quality and effects to be quite well done as they introduce each individual member of their team.
Eggbert: Oh, those were their members? I thought they were just players they wished they could be as good as. HAHAHAHA!
Sissy: Yeah, as usual your jokes are a riot. I wasn't too fond of the music, not really my style. But that's alright, everyone has their own musical vision for movies. Personally I prefer songs that mesh well with the war theme. War songs basically. But it didn't take too much away from the trailer. The action seemed a bit slow to me and there was a little too much freeze-frame, unless I was lagging!
Eggbert: I'm always lagging.
Sissy: We know. Overall I felt the video was a nice introduction to Team Saphire, but I felt it was lacking in other areas. Perhaps we'll see those missing elements in the full version of the video. Or have we already seen all they have to offer?
Eggbert: Yeah, like why do we need more? It was big enough, long enough and uhm HAHAHA get it? Big enough and long enough? Yeah you get it. Afterall, you're the world's only gay zombie!
Sissy: I'm not gay, I'm just perky! I agree though, it was big enough and long enough and I'm not sure if we really need to see more. But we'll wait it out and save that decision for the final cut.
Eggbert: HAHAHAH big, long and cut.
Sissy: Wow, you're on a roll today. A bad roll, but still a roll. Someone has weiner on the mind and it's not me.
Eggbert: Mmmm weiners. They taste like brain. But when you think about it, they might BE brain. You never know what they put in weiners. All those spare parts and such. Mmmm, spare parts. Alright, let's wrap this up, breakfast is calling as loud as London!
Sissy: No one is going to get that reference. You're such an old dork. Okay then... Team Saphire Trailer... If you're down with the Wolfenstein video scene then of course you'll want to watch it. Afterall, it's only 100MB compared to some of those 500MB bad boys we see floating around once in a while. But I wouldn't exactly say that the trailer got me very hyped for the final release of the movie. For a trailer, I would have liked to see more clever effects and a much faster pace. Until next time, this is Sissy and Eggbert saying go to the movies! Bring us back some popcorn.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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