Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Welcome back to another edition of Sissy & Eggbert Go To The Movies! This week we take a look at a Return to Castle Wolfenstein video, something that has been in short supply lately. In fact, all Wolfenstein videos were on short supply this week, so we didn't have much of a choice! The video is called "Wukahs BULLETS FO BISHES", and if you weren't a drinker or drug user prior to watching the video, then you probably will be after!
Eggbert: So you're saying people shouldn't watch the movie because drugs are bad 'Mkay?
Sissy: Pretty much. I thought we might be onto something here when it first started. The intro wasn't too bad. The music kicked in and I thought that was decent as well. Then things started to fall apart.
Eggbert: Can I eat the pieces?
Sissy: Sure. Perhaps my media player wasn't seeing the film the way it was intended to be viewed. But the graphics were bad, the action was slow (almost as if in slow motion throughout the video) and there appeared to be some sort of mod installed that distorted the appearance of the weapons and the players.
Eggbert: Right. The sniper portion of the movie had me confuzzled, the players in the distance looked like ghosts so I couldn't even tell who he was trying to snipe or if the kill was a success except by the kill messages.
Sissy: I hate to say it but this might be the worst video I've seen all year. I thought it had potential, but the graphics were far too weak to pull off a winner here. I viewed the film in VLC and in Nero, the graphics were the same in both.
Eggbert: What a shame, I think we should eat this Wukah guy for wasting our time.
Sissy: Go for it. Overall, I would have to say do not waste your time on Wukahs BULLETS FO BISHES. While it's only 100MB in size, the intro was the only part I felt was worth watching.
Eggbert: Half a boner up from this cool cat. Cheerio chappies.
Sissy: Uh yeah... Half a boner up from me as well, that's for the intro. Until next time, this is Sissy & Eggbert saying over and out!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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