Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Hello and welcome to another trip to the movies with your hosts Sissy (that would be me) and Eggbert (that would be the annoying fat one over there).
Eggbert: I resemble that remark.
Sissy: Over the past two weeks people have taken to beefing up the own-age.com archives with older films, so the pickings were fairly slim in the new movie category. We selected a short video called R1co Fragmovie Trailer, a teaser from Thoro-Pictures, with the full movie expected out this December. The trailer weighs in at just under 50MB, so if you're bandwidth impaired but still like to watch videos, then trailers might be just the thing for you.
Eggbert: No, upgrading their connection would be just the thing for them. Cheap bastards!
Sissy: Now Eggbert, it's not always a matter of money. Often it's a case of people living in the boonies and unable to hook up with a fast ISP that offers cable or DSL.
Eggbert: Then they should move. What's more important than the internet? Think about all of the porn they're missing out on!
Sissy: You assume that the Wolfenstein community is filled with degenerates that do nothing but sit around eating Cheetohs and watching porn?
Eggbert: Yes.
Sissy: Very well. You're probably right. For once. Alright, enough back and forth. Let's check out R1co Fragmovie Trailer. Let's start with the good. I liked the flow of the trailer, it came together nicely. The graphics were crisp. Effects were used in a fluid motion throughout the video, rather than popping in and out like a crapstorm of bad FX.
Eggbert: Now I suppose the great Sissy will give us "the bad" or is it "the ugly"? Because I'm already looking at you so I've got the ugly.
Sissy: Funny guy. Yes, it's time for the bad. No music, the soundtrack was all shoutcasting. Which is fine, it was a pretty good shoutcast clip. But some nice epic music to give us the feel that something great was going to happen might have been nice. The trailer was too short. For 50MB I would have liked to see either a longer teaser or a fanicer production. I'll watch the final film when it's released in December, but I hope we'll be looking at something with a little more flash and bang! Without some added edge it's just going to be "another frag flick".
Eggbert: Can you repeat that? I was watching Oprah.
Sissy: No, I will not repeat it. Just give the trailer one boner up and be done with it.
Eggbert: Alright. After much consideration and pontification I do declare I will give this trailer one boner up!
Sissy: Way to sell it.
Eggbert: Thanks.
Sissy: One boner up here as well.
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
Like it, love it, hate it? Weigh in with some feedback.
RSS Feeds
