Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: We're a day late with our latest movie review as own-age.com was down for a bit and that left us unable to check for the latest video releases! The most recent release is "This is Zakus", a 50MB video trailer, a first video from anagaro. The full release is said to be coming soon. Do we want a full release of Zakus? Let's find out!
Eggbert: Oh, oh! *puts hand up*
Sissy: Yes Eggbert, you may address the class.
Eggbert: You forgot to mention that they can view this one online, streaming!
Sissy: Ah yes, that was definitely a perk. You can find a streaming version of this video here. Now may we continue?
Eggbert: Please do old chap.
Sissy: You're scarily polite today. Probably just one of your usual ploys to grab attention, so we'll ignore it. Now, bear in mind that I did watch the streaming version of the video, so the quality was a little bit... piss poor! So in this case we were looking at content, effects, soundtrack and the like.
Eggbert: Ha! They were piss poor too. HATED IT!
Sissy: We're still ignorning you. Although, unfortunately I have to agree. If this trailer is any indication of what the full movie will be like then I'll probably pass. It seemed very scattered. Just some random fragging (nothing special), a couple of cut-scene effects (again, nothing special), crappy music and some in-game sound. Of course one of my pet peeves is movies that include in-game sounds over top of the music. Overall I would have to say that anagaro should consider this release a learning experience and perhaps do a few private releases to get feedback before his next widespread release. Unfortunately I saw nothing here that would make me want to watch the full video when it's released.
Eggbert: HATED IT!
Sissy: That's a bit harsh, it was the fellow's first movie attempt. Cut him a little slack here.
Eggbert: HATED IT!
Sissy: Fine. Overall, I'm going to have to give this one a partial boner. I hope that the director receives some feedback from his friends and works to improve on what he's started.
Eggbert: No boners here. In fact, I don't think I've ever been so limp! It's like I've just been swimming or something.
Sissy: Too much information!
Eggbert: One sad boner down.
Sissy: Until next time, this is Sissy and Eggbert saying... Go to the movies!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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