Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Hello movie fans! This week we bring you a big fatty. His name is Eggbert!
Eggbert: Ha! You're such a funny guy. Perhaps you should apply for "Last Zombie Comic Standing".
Sissy: Yuk-yuk! No really, we do bring you a big one this week, weighing in at over 500MB we take a look at a movie called "The Last RtCW Movie"! While we doubt it will actually be the last, Return to Castle Wolfenstein videos are few and far between these days so we jumped on it like Eggbert jumping on a pork pie.
Eggbert: Well I don't actually jump on them. That would ruin the taste.
Sissy: To kick things off we pick through the intro, one that is fairly unique and piqued our interest straight away. But where did they go wrong from there?
Eggbert: Ut oh.
Sissy: The movie runs for over 13 minutes in length, and while the frags are decent and the action is fairly fast-paced, the video lacked a certain something. And I would say that certain something was the effects. Everything gelled together alright, but it's pretty bare bones in the editing department.
Eggbert: Yeah, I like flash. And bewbies.
Sissy: Don't we all! If you're into hardcore frag flicks then you should enjoy this, plus it features RtCW so if you haven't played the game in a while it may bring back some feelings of nostalgia. The soundtrack was just "okay", same goes for graphics. Overall not a bad flick, but as I've said, I believe their biggest downfall was the lack of flash. Of course some films go a bit overboard in that department, but this one went a bit underboard in my opinion. Some decent sniper action though if you're into the sniping.
Eggbert: I'd like to snipe a pork pie.
Sissy: Of course you would. There's not a whole lot more to say really, so in quick 'n dirty terms let's get down to the boneage. I'm going to be kind here and go with one boner up for this flick.
Eggbert: Not one of my favourites. Normally I'd give them a semi-boner, but since it's Valentine's Day I'll give them some love and one bone up. Now it's time for me to go get some pork pie love.
Sissy: Until next time, this is Sissy and Eggbert saying... Bring us some flash!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
Like it, love it, hate it? Weigh in with some feedback.
RSS Feeds
