Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Welcome back Wolfenstein movie-goers! For this week's review we had to go back into the video archives a little bit, as there were no new releases since our last review. We look at a rather oddly titled video from klejf called "2in1 2- sNoOp and T6nis ET mov". The flick weighs in at over 500MB, but there is also a fast streaming version available.
Eggbert: Good thing, because downloading 500MB really cuts in to my breakfast time.
Sissy: Based on the opening sequence, the music and the effects used, I think this video might be meant to start as a dream sequence. I was rather enjoying it and then all hell broke loose. The music turned to heavy metal with in-game sounds beneath, the effects faded away and we were left with hardcore fragging.
Eggbert: Is that a good thing?
Sissy: Well the frags are pretty fast-paced, and they pretty much have to be given that the movie is 23 minutes in length. If the film is too slow then people will no doubt lose interest. However, their choice of music just gave me a headache. Lots of cut scenes, lots of carnage. I think a hardcore fragger who also happens to be a metal head will enjoy this video immensely.
Eggbert: And the rest of them?
Sissy: They might enjoy it for the action, but the soundtrack might be a turn off.
Eggbert: Gotcha. Breakfast is served!
Sissy: Hold the sausage, we're not quite done here yet.
Eggbert: Tee hee, he said "hold the sausage".
Sissy: What, are you Helga's personal zombie now?
Eggbert: No, I'm just a pervert.
Sissy: Bottom lining this one, I will say that the graphics are good, the action is excellent, the intro was fair, the soundtrack sucked (but that is a matter of personal taste), and the closing credits were rather different. They didn't really suit the rest of the film but I still found them rather enjoyable after enduring over 20 minutes of heavy metal. Let's dish out some numbers.
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