Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Seems that Wolfenstein video directors have gone on hiatus as of late, so for today's review we had to dig deep into the vault to find something to bring to you.
Eggbert: We have a vault?
Sissy: Well sort of, if you count the own-age.com videos directory.
Eggbert: Sweet. Can I put my pork rinds in there? Helga keeps eating them.
Sissy: It's not that kind of vault, Eggbert.
Eggbert: How disappointing. Helga, hands off my pork rinds!
Sissy: Today we decided to watch an older video that we hadn't seen in the past, it's called "OVERLOAded-x" and was created by kjellietje. This movie weighs in at just over 100MB and it about 3 minutes in length.
Eggbert: So what's the premise?
Sissy: Uhm, Enemy Territory? /Boggle.
Eggbert: And was it any good?
Sissy: You make my head hurt. Watch the movie while I get us started. The opening sequence is really nothing more than some text. Nice text, but just text, no effects. The film was done in high resolution which is nice for a change, but the first half of the movie I found to be very dark. The soundtrack is pretty sloppy. Starts off alright, but then switches to in-game sound about 3/4 through the video. The music trails off but returns at an extremely low volume for the end sequence, which is one against just text.
Eggbert: I'm not feeling this one. It's not fancy pants enough for me.
Sissy: The frags are decent, but that's all this movie really has. It really could have been a demo and we'd have never known the difference. There were no real effects, graphics were dark and the soundtrack was weak. At the end of the day isn't really much more than that to say, since the video contained nothing that I would consider to be special.
Eggbert: I'm special.
Sissy: Yes, we know.
Eggbert: Can I rate this one?
Sissy: Go for it, it's about time you did something around here. Half a bone down here.
Sorry dude, but this score translates to one boner down from me. Until next time, this is Sissy and Eggbert saying eat pork rinds and make some movies! Adios!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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