Features | Articles | Sissy and Eggbert Go To The Movies
Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Welcome back to Sissy & Eggbert Go To The Movies!
Eggbert: Why isn't it Eggbert & Sissy Go To The Movies?
Sissy: Because it isn't.
Eggbert: That's not a good enough explanation, I think we should mix it up and take turns each week.
Sissy: Talk to the producers.
Eggbert: We have producers?
Sissy: Eggbert, take this up another time, we have a show to do here! Sorry for the interruption, let's resume. Today we take a look at an older Enemy Territory video, but at least we're still in 2008! It's Fragarea 3 and it will give you your taste of clan action!
Eggbert: *mumble*
Sissy: The intro is okay, nothing to write home about though. The music builds up and bleeds into the soundtrack, all the while the intro text is rolling and they are panning around the maps. It's a bit dizzying really, but tolerable. During the video they highlight various players using a nice font, which spruces things up a bit. As far as the soundtrack goes, Prodigy is getting a bit old in the video 'industry', but it was still well-suited. A little shoutcasting coverage tossed in as well.
Eggbert: *grumble*
Sissy: Good use of effects, they slowed things down at the right moments and didn't overdo it too much. The frags are great to watch, they've got some really nice shots in there. If you're all about the frags then you certainly will not be disappointed.
Eggbert: *sulk*
Sissy: Fragarea 3 runs just under 7 minutes in length, which is a nice change of pace from the super long videos we've been watching lately. I think any longer and it may have taken away from the superior action in the video. The graphics are adequate but you'll probably find you don't even notice things like graphics quality, because you will likely be compelled to watch the fireworks instead! The closing credits are also nicely done.
Eggbert: I hate you.
Sissy: I hate you too. Bottom line... if you want to see loads of good combat combined with plenty of body parts then this is your movie!
Eggbert: I'm giving it no boners up because you're a jerk.
Sissy: You can't do that, you'll ruin the grading curve. Stop being a jerk.
Eggbert: Fine, I'm giving it two fat boners up then.
Sissy: Fine. Great action flick, 1.5 bones up here. It's a bit older but if you've never seen Fragarea 3 then go check it out! Until next time this is EGGBERT and Sissy saying see you at the movies!
Eggbert: Awww, you said my name first. Now leave it like that, I'm clearly the driving force behind this show. Goodbye everyone!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
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