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Sissy
Award-winning Wolfenstein film columnist Sissy helped to shape Wolfenstein movie criticism as we know it. As co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Sissy and partner Eggbert have influenced and entertained millions of people with their opinions
and barbs on current Wolfenstein films, becoming part of the American entertainment culture and making their
trademark "two boney hands up/two boney hands down" a pop culture icon. A graduate of Wolfenstein University, Sissy received a bachelors
degree in Zombiology.
Eggbert
Co-host of "Sissy & Eggbert", Eggbert is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Wolfenstein film critic and has been working
for the Zombie Sun-Times since 1967. Eggbert is the author of 15 books, including "Great Wolfenstein Movies,"
"Eggbert's Wolfenstein Movie Yearbook," "I Hated, Hated, HATED This Wolfenstein Movie," the Norton anthology "Eggbert's Book of Wolfenstein Film," and the best-selling "Eggbert's Bigger Little Wolfenstein Movie Glossary".
Sissy: Today we go back in to the Return to Castle Wolfenstein video archive to review Panzerfaust, a movie by Bruder Talon & Bewohner. If you're feeling nostalgic for RtCW then read on!
Eggbert: I'm feeling nostalgic for a meatball sandwich.
Sissy: This is a long movie Eggbert, we don't have time for your silly quips.
Eggbert: Fine, I get to do part of the review then.
Sissy: Well it's about time, isn't it?
Eggbert: Okay here is my review of this movie. It's too long, don't watch it, you could be eating meatball sandwiches instead.
Sissy: Sigh. Alright, time to step in as usual. This is a rather unusual film. It's a pretty high quality production overall. The intro, the content, the graphics, the effects, they are all quite special really. BUT, I think due to the video's length (24 minutes) that things get a little bit scattered. The soundtrack is really varied, there's no particular theme. Scenes change quite frequently, which may help to keep your interest. There's no denying that the panzerfaust action is quite nice to watch. But again, it's very long.
Eggbert: I have lots of stamina... for the ladies!
Sissy: Yeah right you do. Last time you saw a lady was the French girl that delivered our last shipment of brains. And she had hairy pits.
Eggbert: She wants me.
Sissy: This movie is pretty hard to judge, because there are lots of great elements in there but some of them are probably lost on people due to the length of the video and the theme-less soundtrack.
Eggbert: Come on, have the nads to say it sucks.
Sissy: It doesn't suck.
Eggbert: Well then have the nads to say it's great.
Sissy: It's not great.
Eggbert: Well then have the nads to say it's mediocre.
Sissy: Shutup. Here are my final thoughts... If you love RtCW and are a big video fan then I say go for it! Be prepared to treat your hemroids afterward though! It's defintely not boners down here, but I can't go with a Viagara style stiffy either. Panzerfaust will have to settle for middle of the road with one up. I would say shorten it up and stick to one type of music in the future. Overall nice job though!
Eggbert: It's a "goodbye to RtCW" video, so on that note we'll say goodbye as well! At least until next week when meatball sandwiches will be on Sissy!
Final Rating:
Sissy:
Eggbert:
Like it, love it, hate it? Weigh in with some feedback.
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